Trust me. I know.

She came into the classroom in tears.

"Miss C, did you read my mom's email? I can't go back down to that level. I already passed it! I just can't go back down!"

In my mind, I rolled my eyes. I shushed her away and told her to go back to her seat and to get back to her work.

"Miss C! I can't go back down!"

"Child, I am moving everyone's levels down by a little bit. Trust me. The numbers don't mean much. They just help us to find the right books for you. You can even try out the other books that you skipped over and hadn't had a chance to read yet. You will be okay."

She wasn't listening to me. She was wailing now.
The only thing that mattered to her was what she saw: the numbers. her reading level.

I was annoyed. Peeved. She always wanted things her own way without listening to anyone else.

I glanced over the email that the mother had written to me earlier in the day. She was very short with me and I did not appreciate that. I knew that part of it had to do with her being a mother. A mother may know what's best for their child most of the time...

I know that I am inexperienced as a teacher, but I still feel that I've been watching her child grow as a reader everyday. I know the way that she sounds out words. I know which words she will stumble over. I know how long it will take for her to read a passage. I know her.. as a reader. I wanted the mother and the child to trust me; to trust that I knew what I was doing to nurture this child as a reader.

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I often times feel like that little girl.
Its not fair. I already worked all the way up to this level.
I grew this much! Why am I back tracking?!

But the Lord so patiently knows that I need to go back and do some filling in.
He knows what is best for me, but I don't trust Him in those ways.

Lord, help me not to pout.
I know that I won't understand everything that You're doing.
Your mind is much too greater than what I can comprehend.
Help me to trust You and to be at peace knowing that You really do know me the best.
Because You know me... You know the best ways for me.

Soli deo glori.