*PAUSE*

Its painful. So painful in fact that I cry every time I have to apply medicine to where it hurts the most. And I know that the momentary pain is supposed to bring about quicker healing.

It could have been anything else... It started out with the acid reflux. I slowed down, but I didn't stop. There was too much to do. Next came the toe. I slowed down a bit more, but I didn't think it was enough reason for me to slow down.

It could have been a different kind of disease. It could have been a different type of injury. But Lord, You specifically chose this one. The very disease that would take me away from the thing that kept me away from prioritizing my life correctly. My life revolved around it. Them. There. And THIS very pain keeps me away from all that. The more and more I think about it, I know that this isn't an accident.

So I'll soak it in. Amidst the pain, I'll sleep in peace awaiting my silent hot cocoa mornings that will, for now, replace the busy-ness of the classroom.

Although I started this week praying for you to take the pain away, I'll pray for you to fix my heart and that the progress of my physical healing will be a reflection of all that You're healing and correcting inside of my spiritual health.

I trust that You know what You're doing.